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Funny phrases that make you ask, “For real?”

06 Thursday Sep 2018

Posted by Elizabeth Fais in colloquialism, Fun Facts, idiom

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Best foot forward, colloquialism, cut the rug, Dancing, Elizabeth Fais, English, funny phrases, Head over heels, Herbert Lawrence, idioms, Indiana, King John, Like nobody's business, old movies, old-movie stars, Oxford Englis Dictionary, P.G. Wodehouse, sayings, Shakespeare, Sir Thomas Overbury, The Lebanon Patriot, Uptown Funk

It’s been quite awhile since I’ve tackled some of the idiosyncratic idioms Americans use on a daily basis. English is my first language, and I’m bemused on a regular basis by many of these expressions. If you think about the actual words, and not the implied meaning, you can’t help but ask, “For real?”

Put your best foot forward ~ make a good impression

I always wondered WHY one foot would be better than the other? As if you’d have a clown shoe on one foot and a fancy dress shoe on the other.

But I digress…

Today this phrase is often used with regards to making a good impression when meeting someone for the first time, such as a job interview or a social gathering. It also can also mean putting your best efforts into taking on a new task.

Like this little gosling…baby gosling

There is some argument over when this phrase originated. Some claim “Always put your best foot forward” dates back to 1495. Others insist the phrase was first recorded in 1613 in a poem by Sir Thomas Overbury.

However, what most people do agree upon is the misuse of “best” when comparing only two items. “Best” assumes there are three or more items. The correct usage is “better”, as in Shakespeare’s King John (1585): “Nay, but make haste; the better foot before.” I don’t know about you, but I’m not arguing with Shakespeare.

Head over heels ~ excited, madly in love

Today this phrase is typically used to describe someone who’s madly in love, as in “head over heels in love.” But…for real? Where do you usually find your head?

This phrase actually originated in the 14th century as ‘heels over head’, meaning doing cartwheels or somersaults.

The first recorded use of “head over heels” appeared in 1771 in Herbert Lawrence’s Contemplative Man.

However, the first recorded reference to love didn’t appear until June 1833 in an Indiana newspaper, The Lebanon Patriot:

About ten years ago Lotta fell head over heels in love with a young Philadelphian of excellent family.

Puppy love

Like nobody’s business ~ to an extraordinary degree

This is another phrase that—if you think about it too much—makes no sense whatsoever. No surprise…the origin of “like nobody’s business” is as elusive the literal meaning.

The Oxford English Dictionary claims that P.G. Wodehouse first used the phrase in 1938: “The fount of memory spouting like nobody’s business.” It’s speculated that “like nobody’s business” was a popular phrase in the 1920’s and 30’s, used as a replacement for something more shocking. The light-hearted, carefree spirit of the times embraced humor and originality of other phrases, such as “the cat’s pajamas” and “the bee’s knees”.

If someone says you’re doing something “like nobody’s business”, it’s most likely a compliment to your energetic enthusiasm. Like these old-movie stars cutting the rug (dancing) like nobody’s business!



Groups with Game ~ Squad Goals … or Not?

17 Monday Oct 2016

Posted by Elizabeth Fais in Amazing but true!, Animals, English, Writing

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Animals, apes, butterflies, crows, Elephants, English, foxes, geese, giraffes, hedgehogs, hippopotamuses, iguanas, kangaroos, larks, pandas, squad goals

parade of elephants

The English language never ceases to amaze me. Colloquialisms, while wacky, can be explained in most cases. The names given to groups of animals and other living things? Not so much. Seriously.

The following list isn’t exhaustive, but it includes some of the more interesting names for groups of living things. If your squad wanted a mascot, which would you take for a name?

For the record, I asked my boss at the day-job if our team could take pandas as our mascot. When he found out what a group of pandas is called, he wasn’t thrilled with the suggestion…for some reason. 😂

Apes — A shrewdness of apes

Butterflies — A kaleidoscope of butterflies

Crows — A murder of crows

Elephants — A parade of elephants

Foxes — A charm of foxes

Geese — A gaggle of geese

tower of giraffes

Giraffes — A tower of giraffes

Hedgehogs — A prickle of hedgehogs

Hippopotamuses — A crash of hippopotamuses

squad_hippos_crash

Iguanas — A slaughter of iguanas

Kangaroos — A mob of kangaroos

Larks — An exaltation of larks

Pandas — An embarrassment of pandas

squad_pandas_embarrassment


Write Word, Wrong Place ~ The Struggle is Reel!

29 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by Elizabeth Fais in English, Humor, Writing

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A Farewell to Arms, Elizabeth Fais, English, Ernest Hemingway, Humor, language, Science

three laughing childrenLet’s take a break, for a moment, from the writer’s obsession with finding just the right words to convey voice, tone, emotion, character, pacing and the like.

Yes, we writers obsess over our words. It’s part of the job description. Ernest Hemingway admitted to rewriting the ending of a A Farewell to Arms thirty-nine times! When asked what the problem was, he replied, “Getting the words right.”

But let’s ditch the obsessing—for a little while—and go back to the time when we were still trying to wrap our heads around the complexities of language, and indulge in some innocent language levity. [PC: morguefile]

Language Levity

I don’t know about you, but when I was in grade school I’d use a word because it sounded right. Back then, there were only paper dictionaries (yes, paper!), and if a dictionary wasn’t handy I’d go with what sounded right.

My “sounds right” guessing was probably as hilarious as some of the following excerpts taken from actual student science exams in the 1990s:

  • The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now.
  • The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
  • To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
  • The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.
  • The three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.
  • English sparrows and starlings eat the farmers grain and soil his corpse.
  • Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.
  • A magnet is something you find crawling over a dead cat.
  • A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene angle.
  • For head colds, use an agonizer to spray the nose.
  • For snakebites, bleek the wound and rap the victim in a blanket for shock.
  • To prevent conception, the male wears a condominium.
  • Use a turnpike on an arm or leg if there’s a bad cut to stop the bleeding.
  • Living Death is an oximormon that’s like being dead when you’re really alive.

Shocking! Similes Gone Wrong, Very Wrong

14 Monday Mar 2016

Posted by Elizabeth Fais in English, Humor, Writing

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creative writing, Elizabeth Fais, English, essays, Fiction, high school, Humor, short stories, simile, Writing

A simile is a literary device used to make a comparison by showing the similarities Surprised boyof two different things. A simile draws a resemblance, in most cases using the words like or as, to create a direct comparison.

  • She swam as gracefully as a swan.
  • Confidence radiated off him like he owned the place, even though he was just a waiter.
  • Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. — William Shakespeare, Sonnet 18

When used correctly, similes are a powerful descriptive tool that engages readers, encouraging the imagination. Misused, similes can be nothing short of hilarious, maybe even shocking.

High School Hilarity

laughing catIn the process of cleaning out a file cabinet, I found a folder full of “funny stuff” that floated around the Internet back in the 90’s. I wish I could take credit for compiling this list of high school’s most hilarious similes, but I can’t. I don’t even know the originator, or I’d give them credit.

Each of the following similes was taken from an actual high school essay or short story, punctuation and all. What makes them so hilarious is their innocence, not their ignorance. Enjoy!

  • The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
  • She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
  • The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
  • McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
  • The politician was gone  but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
  • Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
  • John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
  • Her vocabulary was as bad as, whatever.
  • The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
  • Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie, this guy would be buried in the credits as something like “second tall man”.
  • Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers race across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
  • His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

[PC: morguefile.com]

Idiotic Idioms: Expressions that make you ask, “Seriously?”

26 Saturday Sep 2015

Posted by Elizabeth Fais in English, Writing

≈ 2 Comments

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Bite the dust, colloquialism, dollars to donuts, eat my hat, Elizabeth Fais, English, idioms, informal expressions, pie in the sky, slang, take the cake

There are quite a few common colloquialisms that are centered around food. Phrases with meanings that have little or nothing to do with food … or even eating. Here are a few of my favorites.

Dollars to donuts ~ A certainty

I’d bet dollars to donuts. Why are people betting donuts? Are they Krispy Creme employees, perhaps with a gambling problem? Seriously, what is up with that?

Dollars and donuts

This is a uniquely American betting term. However, I was relieved to discover it did not originate from actual bets that involved donuts. It’s an expression that indicates short odds. Dollars being valuable, while donuts are not. The phrase first appeared in mid 19th century in the newspaper The Daily Nevada State Journal, February 1876:

Whenever you hear any resident of a community attempting to decry the local paper… it’s dollars to doughnuts that such a person is either mad at the editor or is owing the office for subscription or advertising.

The phrase doesn’t appear in print again for some years, but is still used today.

I’ll eat my hat ~ A display of confidence

red cowboy hatThis next phrase is about something to eat, but not something you’d actually want to. Why someone would offer to eat their hat is beyond me. Where do people get this stuff? Absurd as it is, this phrase has been around since the late 16th century!

“I’ll eat my hat” is an expression used to convey confidence in a specific outcome. For example, “She’d forget her head if it weren’t screwed on. I’ll  eat my hat, if she remembers my birthday.”

The earliest example of the phrase found in print is in Thomas Brydges’ Homer Travestie, 1797:

For though we tumble down the wall,
And fire their rotten boats and all,
I’ll eat my hat, if Jove don’t drop us,
Or play some queer rogue’s trick to stop us.

Charles Dickens used another version of the expression in The Pickwick Papers, 1837:

If I knew as little of life as that, I’d eat my hat and swallow the buckle whole.

The expression later became popular in the United States, and is still used today. No one wants to actually eat a hat. Which is why the phrase is only used when there’s certainty about the outcome of an event.

Take the cake ~ Get all the honors

We’re on a roll (no pun intended) with food obsessed idioms, but back to something more enjoyable … and Strawberry cakemuch more logical. Like taking a cake. Because most everyone likes cake.

This phrase was used by the Greeks in the 5th century BC. The Greeks used ‘take the cake’ as a symbol of a prize for victory. Surprisingly, there’s no evidence of the English use of this phrase until it caught on in the United States in the 19th century.

In the US, the phrase became popular due to the cake-walk strutting competitions in the South in the 19th and early 20th centuries. The following is from The Indiana Progress, January 1874:

The cake-walk, in which ten couple [sic] participated, came off on Friday night, and the judges awarded the cake, which was a very beautiful and costly one, to Mrs Sarah and John Jackson.

In cake-walk competitions, couples were judged on their strutting style. The winners were said to have ‘taken the cake’, which was the prize.

In modern-day usage, the meaning has changed somewhat. Today, the expression is often used with sarcastic overtones. For example, “She got perfect scores on the SAT, but has a 2.0 grade point average. If that doesn’t take the cake…”.

Pie in the sky ~ A fantastical idea or promise

Pie in the sky … seriously? Why is there a pie in the sky? What were they smoking? You have to wonder.

The ridiculousness of this phrase makes it even harder to believe that it first had a religious connotation. I am not kidding. Originally, it implied the promise of heaven while continuing to suffer on earth.

blueberry pie

The phrase originated in America in 1911. A Swedish laborer named Joe Hill–a leader of a radical labor organization called the Wobblies, for which he wrote songs–first used the phrase in his song The Preacher and the Slave, a parody of the Salvation Army hymn In the Sweet Bye and Bye.

The phrase didn’t become popular until the Second World War, however. Then it was used figuratively, to refer to happiness that was unlikely to ever come about. Similar to how the phrase is used today. The following excerpt is from the California newspaper The Fresno Bee, November 1939:

The business world is fearful that Roosevelt’s obsession with war problems will mean a continued neglect of questions which still restrict trade and profits. They are highly skeptical of Washington’s promise that they will ‘eat pie in the sky’ solely from war orders, which they decry publicly.

[Photo Credits: morguefile.com]

Bite the Dust ~ To die

This phrase has nothing to do with eating anything, not even dust. I wrote about this idiom in a previous post. To learn more, go here.


Crazy Colloquialisms: More expressions that make you go, “Huh?”

30 Tuesday Sep 2014

Posted by Elizabeth Fais in English, Fun Facts, Writing

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

brass tacks, cat's pajamas, colloquialism, doornail, Elizabeth Fais, English, hell or high water, idioms, language, Tad Dorgan, Universal Studios

Anyone who learns English as a second language is a hero in my book. Seriously. There are so many rules that only apply half the time. And then there are the wacky phrases that get tossed about at whim, that have little or nothing to do with what is actually meant. I was confused by these colloquialism when I was young, and English is my first language.

So here’s a few more translations for idiotic idioms…

The Cat’s Pajamas ~ wonderful, remarkable

Cat in pajamas snuggling a teddy bearThe Cat’s Pajamas is one of the sillier colloquial conundrums. I first heard this expression when I was in grade school, while watching a black-and-white movie from the 1930’s. It’s disturbed me ever since.

The cat’s pajamas describes someone or something that is wonderful or remarkable. The American cartoonist, Thomas Aloysius “Tad” Dorgan, is credited with creating this whimsical phrase. The hipsters in the 1920’s used this expression to describe a person who is the best at what they do, or a person who was fun to be with. More recently it was popularized by the movie The School of Rock, starring Jack Black.

The cat’s pajamas is one of a handful of slang animal-centric expressions that came out of the 1920s. Others include the Bee’s knees, the canary’s tusks, and the flea’s eyebrows. Don’t worry. I won’t go there. (c) Can Stock Photo

Come Hell or High Water ~ a great difficulty or obstacle

Anyone determined to accomplish a task no matter what, will do it “come hell or high water”. It doesn’t matter how hard the task, or the odds against their success. They will get it done. Stubborn to the point of stupidity, but always in their favor.

This is an American expression, yet no one has discovered a clear derivation. Some think it may be an outgrowth of “the devil and the deep blue sea”. But that seems like a stretch, if you ask me.

Flooding street of a old West town, Universal Studios, CA

The earliest reference of “come hell or high water” was in the Iowa newspaper, The Burlington Weekly Hawk Eye, on May 1882. This seems fitting, as the saying rings with hardy Midwestern spirit.

The phrase became popular in movies in the early twentieth century, especially in Westerns. Cattle drives often involved crossing rivers and the large expanses of dry dusty plains. [Photo by moi: Western movie set, Universal Studios (CA) backlot]

Get Down to Brass Tacks ~ hard facts

BrassTacksThis phrase dates back to the turn of the nineteenth century, with its first appearance in January 1863 in a Texas newspaper. Other early occurrences are also from Texas, so it’s assumed that’s its place of origin. There are a couple of possible derivations for the phrase, and both refer to actual brass tacks.

The first theorizes that the brass tacks are the ones used in upholstery. Brass tacks have long been used in making furniture, due to their aesthetic appeal and ability to withstand rust. But that’s as far as the explanation for that theory goes. There’s no logical explanation that relates the meaning of the phrase to the brass tacks used in upholstering.

The most reasonable theory is about the brass tacks used as a measuring device for selling lengths of material in the old haberdashery trade. Measuring fabric by arm length wasn’t very exact. So to be more accurate, shopkeepers inserted brass tacks along the edge of their counters. When a customer purchased fabric, the cloth was measured along the counter using the distance between the brass tacks to determine the price. Hence the phrase, getting down to brass tacks.  (c) Can Stock Photo

Dead as a Doornail ~ devoid of life, unusable

This expression always bothered me. Of all things to compare death to, why a doornail? It made no sense. If it had to be a nail, why not a coffin nail?

Amazingly enough, the first reference of this phrase dates back to 1350. It appears in both the The Vision of Piers Plowman, and a translation by William Langland of the French poem Guillaume de Palerne. By the 16th century, the expression had become popular in England thanks to the lines Shakespeare gave the rebel leader Jack Cade in King Henry VI. Dickens kept the popularity growing by using the phrase in A Christmas Carol.

You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door-nail.

close up of an old wooden door with a knocker

Doornails are large-headed studs that, in much earlier times, were used for strength instead of decoration. The practice was to hammer the nail through, and then bend the protruding end over to secure it. This process is called clenching, and is probably why a doornail can be considered dead. After a doornail is clenched it can’t be used again. Sounds true to me. How about you?  (c) Can Stock Photo

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