Tag Archives: Fiction

MG Review: Louisiana’s Way Home by Kate DiCamillo

19 Friday Apr 2019

Posted by in Books, Middle Grade, Review

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A story of discovering who you are—and deciding who you want to be. —Book Jacket

When Louisiana Elefante’s granny wakes her up in the middle of the night to tell her that the day of reckoning has arrived and they have to leave home immediately, Louisiana isn’t overly worried. After all, Granny has many middle-of-the-night ideas.

But this time, things are different. This time, Granny intends for them never to return. Separated from her best friends, Raymie and Beverly, Louisiana struggles to oppose the winds of fate (and Granny) and find a way home. But as Louisiana’s life becomes entwined with the lives of the people of a small Georgia town — including a surly motel owner, a walrus-like minister, and a mysterious boy with a crow on his shoulder — she starts to worry that she is destined only for good-byes. (Which could be due to the curse on Louisiana’s and Granny’s heads. But that is a story for another time.) [Synopsis]

A delightful journey of fate, hope and grace

Kate DiCamillo’s storytelling won me over with Because of Winn-Dixie, and I’ve been a fan ever since. Louisiana’s Way Home swept me up on the first page and carried me on a journey I didn’t want to end. On the fateful night when the story begins, Louisiana is forced to leave everything she knows and loves. Yet, like so many situations that appear grim at the outset, Louisiana’s transforms into something far better than she could ever have imagined.

Five things I loved about this book:

The Voice—Louisiana’s plucky spirit and honest insights had me laughing and rooting for her all the way. Like when she insists the dentist must see Granny without having an appointment: “You cannot make an appointment for an emergency, because emergencies are entirely unexpected.”

The Humor—A pervasive humor rings through Louisiana’s voice, the characters, and even the setting to counterbalance the heaviness of Louisiana’s situation and infusing it with hope. Like Louisiana’s criticism of the Good Night, Sleep Tight Motel curtains. The motel is in Georgia and she believes the rooms should have “state appropriate curtains” with peaches not palm trees.

The Characters—We see the adults Louisiana encounters through her honest innocence, and their actions show us who they are. Like Grandfather Burke, with his hand as rough as a horse hoof and a heart so gentle that he holds her hand when needs it most.

The Friendship—Friendship sparks between Louisiana and Burke Allen, and his crow Clarence, when he appears on the roof of the Good Night, Sleep Tight Motel and offers to get her anything she wants from the motel vending machine. Their friendship blossoms with camaraderie and over time the doorway of grace opens.

The Theme—Difficult situations and how we choose to handle them define us. Ultimately, we decide who we are and who we become. The strong yet gentle way in which Louisiana faces physical and emotional upheaval hint at the person she’ll grow into in the years to come.

Wisdom of Richard Peck ~ Writing for young readers

01 Friday Jun 2018

Posted by in Middle Grade, SCBWI, Writing, Young Adult

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Richard Peck was an influential voice for me when I started writing for young readers, and with good reason. A Long Way From Chicago, coverHe was a National Book Award finalist TWICE, as well as claiming the Newbery Honor (A Long Way From Chicago) and Newbery Medal (A Year Down Yonder). Richard Peck was nothing short of a master and commander in the art of writing for young readers.

Before becoming an author, Richard Peck was a teacher. His classrooms were filled with the young audience he’d later write for. He admitted that, “Junior-high teaching made a writer out of me.” Peck may have left teaching, but he never stopped sharing his wisdom.

I was fortunate to have heard Richard Peck speak at a couple of Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) conferences. SCBWI even recorded a video Masterclass with Richard Peck on writing the novel for young readers too, that you can purchase for a reasonable price.

A Year Down Yonder, coverRichard Peck shared his wisdom on craft  through essays, as well. The essay he wrote on importance of beginnings—October/November 2006, Horn Book Magazine sparked a writing epiphany for me. In it he said, “The most important secret of writing . . . you are only as good as your opening line.”

At first I thought that was kind of harsh, so I did extensive research. I went to bookstores and libraries, reading ONLY first lines of books. As it turned out, he was right! The books with great first lines I took home and read.

Don’t confuse a great opening line with over-the-top drama, though. A great opening line shouldn’t be about shock-value. When done right, it sets the tone of the story, reveals character, conflict, and theme. It’s the promise of the premise…distilled into one line. Richard Peck would revise his first chapter 24 times (or more), well after he’d completed the manuscript, to make sure it was right.

A Season of Gifts, cover

Short stories comprised Richard Peck’s first published works, covering the gamut of comedy, tragedy, historical, and contemporary. In fact, his short story “Shotgun Chentham’s Last Night Above Ground” was the inspiration for his Living in Chicago series: A Long Way From Chicago, A Year Down Yonder, and A Season of Gifts.

Peck’s collection of short stories, Past Perfect, Present Tense includes insights and advice for aspiring writers, along with some of his own notes. In the introduction, Peck reminds us that “fiction isn’t real life with the names changed. It’s an alternate reality to reflect the reader’s own world.” He also warns burgeoning writers that “a short story isn’t easier than a novel.” In truth, short stories require a type of samurai self-editing that is not for the weak of pen or faint of heart.

Writing lessons learned from Richard Peck

  • Before you write a single word, know your audience. Who will want to read the story you have to write?
  • A story isn’t what is. It’s what if?
  • Fiction is never an answer, always a question.
  • A story, of any length, is about change. The characters can’t be the same in the last paragraph as they are in the first. If there’s no change, there’s no story.
  • The essence of the entire story should be encapsulated on the first page.
  • The first chapter is the last chapter in disguise.
  • The story’s beginning should answer each of the following questions with a satisfied “Yes”: Does it intrigue? Does it invite? Does it work?
  • Strong, colorful characters win over readers, like the quirky, audacious, and warm-hearted Grandma Dowdel in a Long Way From Chicago.
  • An outrageous comic outhouse calamity is often the reason a story is recommended, word-of-mouth over and over again. Memorable scenes create loyal audiences and inspire lifetime readers.

The mystery of depth ~ Creating characters we care about

29 Sunday Oct 2017

Posted by in Character, Story, Writing

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Agents and editors want stories that have characters they can care about, characters with depth. For the longest time, I had no idea how to accomplish this. I knew depth meant complexity, but how you created that quality in characters was a mystery. Then one day, while watching an episode of NCIS, the pieces of the character-depth-puzzle magically fell into place. Who knew Abby and Gibbs would be the key that unlocked this literary mystery?

NCIS -- Abby and Gibbs

1. Mix it up with multiple character traits

In a 2-dimensional painting, everything appears flat. You get the same effect with characters that only have one basic trait—bully, geek, mean girl, wimp, etc. To avoid flat characters, give them multiple traits of varying strengths.

I like the analogy of creating perspective in a painting. What’s in the foreground is mountains at sunsetmore intense and has greater detail. As should be the predominant trait of a character. With increased distance in a painting, objects become lighter and have less detail. Secondary and tertiary character traits should have less focus as well.

When Building a Better Character, reveal the traits over time as the character interacts with others and reacts to various situations.

2. Shake & stir: the good, the bad, and the ugly

Just as characters need a blend of traits to be believable, they must also display a variety of emotions. No one is perfect, and we wouldn’t like them if they were. Show their good side, so we like them, but don’t hold back on the bad and the ugly.

3. Peal back the layers

It’s human nature. The longer we savor an experience, the richer our enjoyment. This is why it’s important for characters to unfold and grow along with the plot.

Think of pealing back the layers of an onion. Each layer should reveal something unique and intimately real about the character. When we first meet someone, we get a superficial impression of who they are. It takes time, and a variety of experiences, before we get to know who they really are. It should be the same with our characters.

At a San Francisco South Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) Agents Day conference, former literary agent, Mary Kole explained how to explore a character’s inner life through interiority. Interiority is a combination of the character’s internal dialog and point of view. To learn more, check out her book on Writing Irresistible Kidlit: The Ultimate Guide to Crafting Fiction for Young Adult and Middle Grade Readers.

4. Pressure cook for change

diamond sitting on coalCharacter depth requires change over the course of the story. The Character Arc is a journey that forces the character to confront their frailties to become wiser and stronger.

All great stories are about transformation. To survive, the hero has to change by facing their greatest fear and overcoming it. Blake Snyder—in the popular story structure guide, Save the Cat!—called this The Dark Night of the Soul.

Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) puts characters through hell—literally and figuratively. This pressure has the same effect as the pressure that transforms a lump of coal into a diamond. It smooths off their rough edges and makes them shine.

You take people, you put them on a journey, you give them peril, you find out who they really are. ― Joss Whedon

Total solar eclipse & its influence on fiction

05 Saturday Aug 2017

Posted by in Fiction, Moon, Story

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The primal fear effect

A total solar eclipse is when the moon passes between the sun and earth, and blocks all or part of the sun for up to about three hours from a given location.

Today, a total solar eclipse is an astronomical rarity, an event to be recorded and studied. That was not always the case. It wasn’t all that long ago (in the grand scheme of things) that the sun and sky going dark caused mass hysteria. Which is not a totally irrational response. It triggers a primal fear, because we depend on the sun’s energy for life. Without it, our world would be uninhabitable.

It’s no surprise that a total solar eclipse continues to have a strong effect on us even now, as is evident in fiction: books, film, and television. Stories that resonate most deeply with the human psyche are primal, and survival is about as primal as it gets.

Fictional total eclipses

The earliest known fictional solar eclipse is in Homer‘s Odyssey, which scholars believe was composed near the end of the 8th century BC. There’s probably lesser known fictional references to solar eclipses between the 8th century BC and 1608, when Shakespeare’s tragic play, King Lear was first published, but let’s jump to King Lear’s famous quote:

O insupportable! O heavy hour! / Methinks it should be now a huge eclipse / Of sun and moon; and that the affrighted globe / Should yawn at alteration…

Following Shakespeare, the better known fictional works that feature solar eclipses were published in the late 19th century:

You might think that the paranormal intrigue surrounding a total solar eclipse would wane as we entered the 20th century, but no. In fiction, film, and television, it increased. The following are just a few of the works by the more prominent authors:

The list of film and television shows that include solar eclipses in their story is more extensive than in books. For a complete list of title for both fiction, film, and television, go here.

1984 eclipse in Witness

It’s interesting that while filming Witness (1985) in Pennsylvania’s Amish region, a partial solar eclipse occurred on May 30, 1984 (at his location). Director Peter Weir filmed the actors in costume, responding to the eclipse. However, these scenes never made it into the publicly released version of the film.

August 21, 2017 ~ total solar eclipse

August 21, 2017 will be the first total solar eclipse that can be seen in the United States in 38 years, the last one being in 1979. For the 2017 solar eclipse, the longest period the moon completely blocks the sun—from any given location along the path—will be about two minutes and 40 seconds.

If you’re interested in following the solar eclipse as it happens, even if you won’t be in the direct viewing path, check out the Smithsonian Solar Eclipse app from the Smithsonian Astrophysical Observatory (SAO). The app allows you to watch a live NASA stream of the eclipse as it travels across the continental United States. You can calculate your view with their interactive eclipse map, and get a virtual view in our eclipse simulator. Super cool!

Get that Half-Baked Story Out of the Oven!

17 Monday Apr 2017

Posted by in Story, Writing

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Writing Recipe for Success

Toddler chefIt happens to every writer. At least once. We start a project, excited and inspired by the sparkly new idea. We run with it, fleshing out characters, working magic with dialog, setting, and plot. Then something happens. Our inspiration dissipates, like air from a hot air balloon. We’re slugging forward through molasses, when once we soared.

It’s easy to get discouraged, or possibly even give up on that great idea at this point. I’m here to tell you…

DO NOT GIVE UP!

Writing a novel is a lot like baking a cake. You carefully organize and mix the ingredients, select and prepare the pan, then put it in the oven to bake at the right temperature for the perfect amount of time. Unlike the cake, a creative oven requires our input for the heat, and the time it takes to fully bake is not always in our favor. Deadliness be damned. Unfortunately, half-baked is only half there.

The good news is that you got the story into the oven. Here’s a few strategies on how you can get it out…fully baked.

Turning Up the Heat

We get stuck in our writing for lots of reasons. The best way to get unstuck is to shake things up, take a new approach, do something totally different. The unexpected has a way of jump starting creativity. Here’s few suggestions:

  • Go someplace you’ve always wanted to, but haven’t. A change of scenery, especially a place that elicits intrigue, works wonders.
  • Watch A LOT of movies and TV shows. Joss Whedon would watch four or five movies in a row (in one day) to study story. You never know what will provide the boost you need for your story.
  • Read A LOT of different things, both magazines and books. Read outside your comfort zone. Change is good. Embrace it.
  • Talk to people who have cool jobs, or who’ve had very different life experiences than your own. This is one of the things Amie Kauffman, co-author of Illuminae and Gemina, does to get new ideas.
  • Go to a public place and people watch. Imagine where they’re going and what they’ll do when they get there. Have fun creating stories without the pressure of an outcome.
  • Start a totally different project in a completely different genre, just for you. Published authors confess to doing this when they’ve been paralyzed under a deadline. TheFemail chef illustration story they started “for themselves” got them excited about writing again and they made their deadline. Those stories later became wildly popular books too. A win-win.
  • Brainstorm with other writers. Especially if you’re under deadline. Screenwriters work this way a lot.
  • Write stuff. Then write more stuff.
  • Fire your internal editor and keep going until you reach The End.

You’re doing great!

 

LOVE ~ Fiction’s Greatest Common Denominator

14 Tuesday Feb 2017

Posted by in Love, Story, Writing

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I love you heart❤️ It’s Valentine’s Day ❤️ 

Love is in the air, whether you adore the holiday or not.

Many bemoan the grandiose expectations the holiday puts on…well…everyone.

Don’t blame Hallmark.

Instead, look to fiction for insights into why this holiday has become a national obsession.

Love … Has Everything to Do With It

As Blake Snyder, Mr. Save the Cat!, used to say, “The motivating force of a story has color heart lightto be primal.” And nothing is more primal than love. I’d go so far as to say that love is fiction’s greatest common denominator, that the roots of every story are based in love.

Whether it’s seeking love, giving love, protecting love, grieving for love, or the ugliness that springs from lack of love or unrequited love.

Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet is one of the most popular stories of all time, because it resonates with humanity’s innermost core. Love.

Love’s Joyful Eccentricities

The romantic comedy (rom-com) is the popular love story of today. Shakespeare was the first to make that particular story type popular, though. Shakespeare wrote a total of 16 romantic comedies, earning him the title as the original Rom-Com King. Rossini, and other composers, carried the romantic comedy into the opera houses with great success. Later, Hollywood was quick to spin the romantic comedy into a film genre.

In children’s literature, the net of love stretches to include other species. For example, TheOneAndOnlyIvan_coverin The One and Only Ivan, by Katherine Applegate, a young girl’s compassionate love for Ivan, the shopping mall gorilla, is the catalyst for his freedom.

Likewise, Ivan’s love for the elephants who are also trapped in the roadside shopping mall attraction sparks his imagination and fuels his actions that provide the means for the young girl to help them.

Spanning centuries, artistic mediums, and species…the love story has touched the hearts of audiences everywhere. To such a great extent, it has permeated the fabric of our consciousness. Such is the power of love. Because it’s primal.

Love’s Darker Faces

The primal motivating force of a character always comes back to love. “Even the villain?” you ask. Yes. Severus Snape, in J.K. Rowling‘s Harry Potter series, is a perfect example of denied love giving the character a villainous face.

City of Heavenly Fire coverShakespeare’s dramatic plays reflect the darker facets of love, such as Hamlet, Macbeth, and Othello. Jane Austen, thought by many to be the Queen of Romance in fiction, touches the sadder sides of love in her works, such as Persuasion.

Cassandra Clare‘s Mortal Instruments series is woven through with characters’ experiences and expressions of the grimmer facets of love, that sometimes grow so dark as to perpetuate murder. However, the main theme revolving throughout the series is self-acceptance.

The characters come to see and understand that the choices they make and the consequences that follow are a reflection of their level of self-love. This realization leads some through their darkness, to where they can embrace the healing power of love.

Fictional Time Management & Other Relative Topics

06 Sunday Nov 2016

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Einstein Nailed It

When I was in grade school, my parents went away for an hour and it felt like an entire day. Seriously. Later that same year when we went to Disneyland for the first time, one day felt like a minute.

Not unlike when we set our clocks forward an hour in the spring for Daylight Savings Time, and it feels like we lose four hours of sleep instead of just one. Yet when we set our clocks back an hour in the fall, the same hour feels like it’s cut in half. What’s up with that?

Einstein’s Theory of Relativity in four words: Time is funny stuff.

Clock faces

The Perception of Time is Relative

We often perceive time as expanding or contracting based on our emotions, and our perception creates our reality. Authors have used this to their advantage for quite some time. Telling a story in real-time slows the pace down to focus on a character or story element, or maybe to build suspense. Writers have their ways of accelerating the pace to adjust perception and influence emotion too. Further proof that the pen, and the keyboard, are mightier than the sword. And quantum physics…apparently.

Manipulating fictional time, at its best, keeps readers turning the pages. I wrote a post on Time as a Story Element that discusses these techniques in greater detail, if you’re interested.

Lost Time: Timekeeper

What if time didn’t just expand and contract, but could actually be lost? As in disappear. Vanish. Just freaking gone.

TimekeeperAn intriguing predicament that I hadn’t considered, until I picked up Timekeeper by Tara Sim. The first lines of this alternate Victorian era London run by clock towers cut to the chase:

Two o’clock was missing. Danny wanted it to be a joke. Hours didn’t just disappear.

But they can, and did, in a world where clock towers literally control time. When a clock tower breaks, so does time. And when a clock tower is destroyed, time stops completely. This clockpunk fantasy is infused with magic, woven through with myth, and spiced with mayhem. Danny, our hero, is a clock Mechanic charged with ensuring that time flows according to the natural order. The Mechanics inherit the job, because they can actually feel the strands of time and the weave of its fabric. The existential truths layered throughout the story provide satisfying believability and depth.

Time was everywhere and nowhere at once, making the moment last an eternity.

Stuck in Time: Groundhog Day

There is broken time, and then there is being stuck in time on infinite repeat. A post on fictional time and relativity just isn’t complete without a mention of one of my favorite movies: Groundhog Day.

Groundhog Day movie

Phil (Bill Murray), an egotistical curmudgeon of a weatherman, gets stuck living Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania over, and over, and over…until he finally gets it right. Which for him, takes some doing. I could go on and on and on about this movie, but you’ll enjoy watching the following trailer much more. May time forever flow in your favor.

Word Wizardry ~ The Power of Punchy Dialog

03 Monday Oct 2016

Posted by in Fiction, Television, Writing

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Dialog molds characters into three-dimensions. What characters say, as well as what they don’t, reveals who they are. Dialog has the power to make a story and its characters memorable, whether in books, theater, film, or television. I shamelessly study any medium that’s raised the dialog bar. My current obsession interest is The West Wing.

The West Wing cast

The Magic of the Cutting Quip

I’m a little (?) late to the game on The West Wing (1999-2006). However, it is still in high westwing_joshsam1pngdemand on Netflix, which is a testament to its raise-the-bar quality.

The snappy dialog, and the aplomb with which it is delivered, hooked me in the first episode. Centered around the day-to-day happenings surrounding the President of the United States and his staff, The West Wing tackles serious topics without sinking into the morose. The sheer genius of the dialog and its delivery balanced intense drama with just-right humor, while revealing nuanced layers character traits.

Such as when Sam Seaborn, Deputy White House Communications Director in the administration of President Josiah “Jed” Bartlet, deflects an attack of an irate woman for his stance on school funding:

Woman: Don’t play dumb with me.
Sam: I am dumb. Most of the time I’m playing smart.

Then there were the typos in the State of the Union Address. Sam Seaborn, headshotAs a writer, I may find typos funnier than most. But still. It’s The White House. Monumental decisions that affect millions of people go down there every day. So misspelled words in the State of the Union Address? Kind of (?) funny, if not a little embarrassing.

The following exchange happened during a read-through of the President’s State of the Union speech:

President: I’m proud to report our country’s stranger than it was a year ago?
Sam: Stronger. That’s a typo.
President: It could go either way.

Then later in the same episode:

First Lady: Why is hall#wed spelled with a pound sign in the middle of it?
President: I stopped asking those questions.

Dialog “Do’s” from The West Wing

  • Reveal personality quirks.
    Josh Lyman, White House Deputy Chief of Staff, and Donna Moss, his assistant, were arguing about her not checking his lunch order to make sure his hamburger was burned-to-a-crisp. Josh elaborates, “I like my hamburger so hard that if you drop it on the floor it breaks.”
  • Show character strengths.
    Josh threatens to fire Donna when she pushes back on a request that’s obviously not important. To which she replies, “You’ve already fired me three times. I’m impervious.” Then she walks away, declaring “Impervious.”
  • Expose character dynamics.
    C.J. Cregg, White House Press Secretary, intentionally annoys Josh in a press briefing by saying, “…the theoretical psychics at Cal Tech Nuclear Lab… You know what? I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be physicists.”
  • Engender empathy in a character.
    An international incident is in play, the President suffered a medical emergency, the State of the Union Address is that evening, and everyone keeps asking him if he’s taking his medication. To ease his staff’s worry, President Bartlet responds with humor, “Is it possible I’m taking something called euthanasia?” Sam replies, “Echinacea.” The President smiles, “That sounds more like it.”
  • Lighten an intense scene.
    Every episode of The West Wing uses witty banter to lighten intense scenes. Joss Whedon—creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer—said it best: “Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.”

For the Love of Character ~ Idiosyncrasies that Build Empathy

09 Monday May 2016

Posted by in Character, Fiction, Story

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Building Empathy

I’ve written about various facets of character development in the past, mostly in broad-stroke terms, such as quirky characters who dress like Buster Keaton. Such extreme character traits Brenda Leigh Johnsoncomplement some stories. Other stories require a subtler approach. Developing empathy for a character comes from seeing their idiosyncrasies and flaws, which allows us to identify with them.

Let’s face it. No one can relate to a perfect person, because we all have shortcomings of some kind. Which is why a character’s weaknesses inspire empathy, and in turn cause us to fall in love with them. A tough, no-nonsense investigator who stress eats Ding Dongs (and other sweets) becomes instantly more likable.

Creating empathy is a lot like building trust, it happens over time as we get to know the real person from the inside out.

What “The Closer” Taught Me About Character

Research for writing fiction can cover a broad gamut, including watching television. And you wonder why I love this job?

I write for young readers, and initially started watching The Closer — a Warner Bros. Televsion adult crime drama — to analyze the mystery plot structure and well planned plot twists. The series had garnered more than a few Emmy nominations, and at least one win. I figured I could learn something from the writing. I was right in more ways than anticipated. The Closer showed me the power of everyday character idiosyncrasies as a method for building empathy.

For anyone who hasn’t seen The Closer, here’s the synopsis: The Closer is a police procedural series, starring Kyra Sedgwick as Brenda Leigh Johnson, a Los Angeles Police Department Deputy Chief. Brenda moved to Los Angeles from Georgia where she trained in the CIA, and gained a reputation as a Closer — a tough interrogator who solves cases and obtains confessions leading to convictions that “close” the case. Deputy Chief Johnson uses her femininity to disarm and distract, and at times resorts to deceit and intimidation to persuade suspects into confessing.

The Closer -- Cast

Brenda Johnson is an expert in her field, relentless and often intimidating. As perfect as she is when it comes to succeeding at her job, her foibles make her relatable and endearing. Here are a few of her characteristics that won me over and made me root for her:

  • She dresses feminine and understated like the Southern girl she is, rather than embodying the high-power-business-suit-chic of the other women at her job level.
  • She stress eats sweets, especially Ding Dongs, which she keeps stockpiled in her desk drawer.
  • As powerful as she is at work, she is unable to stand up to her father whenever he comes to visit.
  • She has episodes of disorganized absent-mindedness where she can’t find her phone and loses her purse. Hey, we’ve all been there.
  • Her single-minded focus that makes her so good at her job causes friction in her personal relationships — such as her FBI boyfriend (Jon Tenny) who she eventually marries.
  • She has trouble dealing with simple things in everyday life, like remembering the sex of the stray cat that comes with the house she buys. Brenda calls “Kitty” a “he” even after “she” has kittens. This drives Fritz, her then boyfriend, crazy.
  • She is relentless in her pursuit of a criminal, creating loopholes in the system to pursue justice, even when the victims were less than noble when alive.
  • She uses her Southern charm to get what she wants, always ending an unpleasant request with a sweet “Thank you so much” before anyone can object.
  • She stands behind the people on her team, protecting their jobs during budget cuts, and refusing to believe any one of them could be the cause of the information leak in her department.

Every member of the ensemble cast received their share of idiosyncrasies that endeared them to me as well. And the final season closed with all the necessary ingredients for a satisfying ending.

Brenda and Fritz - Final Season of The Closer

Shocking! Similes Gone Wrong, Very Wrong

14 Monday Mar 2016

Posted by in English, Humor, Writing

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A simile is a literary device used to make a comparison by showing the similarities Surprised boyof two different things. A simile draws a resemblance, in most cases using the words like or as, to create a direct comparison.

  • She swam as gracefully as a swan.
  • Confidence radiated off him like he owned the place, even though he was just a waiter.
  • Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. — William Shakespeare, Sonnet 18

When used correctly, similes are a powerful descriptive tool that engages readers, encouraging the imagination. Misused, similes can be nothing short of hilarious, maybe even shocking.

High School Hilarity

laughing catIn the process of cleaning out a file cabinet, I found a folder full of “funny stuff” that floated around the Internet back in the 90’s. I wish I could take credit for compiling this list of high school’s most hilarious similes, but I can’t. I don’t even know the originator, or I’d give them credit.

Each of the following similes was taken from an actual high school essay or short story, punctuation and all. What makes them so hilarious is their innocence, not their ignorance. Enjoy!

  • The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
  • She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
  • The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
  • McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
  • The politician was gone  but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
  • Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
  • John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
  • Her vocabulary was as bad as, whatever.
  • The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
  • Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie, this guy would be buried in the credits as something like “second tall man”.
  • Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers race across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
  • His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

[PC: morguefile.com]